Facts of Life

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Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.

What we observe is not nature itself -But nature exposed to our method of questioning.
- Werner Heisenberg

STRESS: That confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.

REALITY: Mans attempt to rationalize the illusions that his mind creates in order to understand the world around him.

Two things worry most people these days: one, that things may never get back to normal; and two, that they already have.

HARRIS'S LAMENT: All the good ones are taken.

John's collateral corollary: In order to get a loan you must prove you don't need it.

One place where you're sure to find the perfect driver is in the back seat.
- Homer Phillips

One of the greatest joys in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The best thing about getting old is that all those things you couldn't have when you were young, you no longer want.
- Earl Wilson

Most people don't like authority; at lease they don't like other people's authority.

If it looks too good to be true...it probably is.

It isn't your position that makes you happy or unhappy, It's your dis-position.

It has never been determined whether the early bird enjoys the worm as much as the late bird enjoys the extra sleep.

Giving up smoking is like the first week in a nudist camp. You don't know what to do with your hands.

There's one inflexible rule of television: No show is too bad to be run during the summer.
- Phil Dsummer.

If it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done.

Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are?

A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.
- Joseph Weizenbaum

If there is technological advance without social advance, there is, almost automatically, an increase in human misery.
- Michael Harrington

Most Amazing Facts

Amazing Facts:

• Coca-Cola was originally green.
• The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
• The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start
  with ?
• The strongest muscle in t2he body is the tongue.
• TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on
  one row of the keyboard.
• Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
• You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
• It is impossible to lick your elbow.
• People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart
  stops for a millisecond.
• It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
• The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
• If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.

Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

• If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the
  air, the person died in battle.
• If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of
  wounds received in battle.
• If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
  causes.
• What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
  printers all have in common?

Ans. - All invented by women.

• A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
• A snail can sleep for three years.
• All polar bears are left handed.
• Butterflies taste with their feet.
• Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
• In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
• On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
• Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
• ‘Stewardesses’ is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
• The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
• The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
  squirt blood 30 feet.
• Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over
  million descendants.
• Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your
  ear by 700 times.
• The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
• Most lipstick contains fish scales.
• Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

Read More Amazing Facts.