Women are like people. They walk around, breathe oxygen, eat food, enjoy refreshing beverages,they like cute puppies, buy things they don’t need and sometimes, even drive cars. Women are a strange species. As a “penis carrying male” you will never understand them, and therfore, must resort to downloading files like this to figure them out. Lets get started.
1. RULE #1 (The most vital rule of them all) Women do not like people who masturbate in public. They don’t understand it, and probably never will. If you ever want to pick up a woman in public, DO NOT MASTURBATE IN FRONT OF HER. She will not see this as a sign of “affection” but as a “creepy social behaviour.” Keep it in your pants until you get back to your trailer, or parent’s apartment.
2. RULE #2 Girls do not like being bulldozed into sleeping with you. You have to actually form a “Human Connection” with a girl before she will voluntarily sleep with you. If you tackle her in an allyway, and just force it in, she will probably notify the authorities, and suffer lifelong emotional damage.Neither of which helps you achieve your goal.
3. RULE #3 If a girl doesn’t want to sleep with you, you cannot find a text on the internet that will explain how to get said girl to sleep with you. It’s just not going to happen, give up, and play some more World of Warcraft.
4. RULE #4 Women are like human beings. Some of them find certain things funny, and other things offensive. Stay away from what she finds offensive. i.e. If she is against poaching of whales, DO NOT (under any circumstances) show her your stuffed, poached whale collection. She will most likley find it offensive, and therfore, not drop to her knees and suck you off pornstar style.
5. RULE #5 Personal Hygine. Make sure you shower at least once every two weeks. Wash and change your clothing at least 4 times yearly. Believe it or not, women are turned off by a man that smells like bad cheese, and old vinegar.
6. RULE #6 Do NOT try to get her into Aquateen hunger force. Its just not worth the effort.
7. RULE #7 Make sure she knows exactly what you want, but be sensitive about it. Don’t say stupid, insenstive things like “I want to take you home and ravage you.” That just lets her know you’re a meathead jerk. Say things like “I want to go back to your place, and put my erect penis into your vagina, for the purpose of enjoyed copulation, not for the purpose of offsping.” She will understand where you are coming from, appreciate the honesty, and know your intentions. It’s best to put this line out there in the first 3-4 minutes you are speaking to her.
8. RULE #8 Do not, under any circumstances, punch her in the throat. Girls see this as an act of violence. They can’t breathe afterwords, and begin to question your real intentions. Remember, you downloaded this guide so you could learn what your “true intentions” are. Not so you could read something short, and use it to manipulate people.
9. RULE #9 Protection. It’s best that you are wearing a condom when you enter a bar. You should let girls know this. They’ll understand that you care about safe sex, and take all precausions.
10. RULE #10 Girls wear provocative clothing so you will come up and talk to them. They look like they are having a great time with their friends, but they want you, an awkward social reject to come up to them and say something insincere like “I respect you as a person.” That just makes them melt.
11. RULE #11 You are hardwired as a male to reproduce, you already know everything you need to in order to have sex with a girl. You just can’t be afraid of rejection. You’ll get rejected 100’s of times, but eventually, you’ll figure it out. Be yourself, don’t be afraid to make an ass out of yourself, but don’t do anything too stupid…
There you have it, please post all your thanks and praise to ELDEEDER on demonoid. He is the master pimp of bit-torrent sharing websites, and if you can’t get a girl without his advice, well, youll probably never get a girl with his advice, but at least youll be forced to understand that you’re a social moron, with very few ideas on how to interact with other human beings, and therfore, be forced to do something about it. REMEMBER
Wear a condom and NEVER EVER take your cousin out drinking. Especially if she’s cute…
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